My First Time Writing About My Son

mortzy  and bezalel

So this blog post has taken weeks to write. My son, Mortzy (17) would call me every couple of days “Ma, did you write on your blog?”
“No honey, I didn’t”
“Ma, can you please write something? My race is in two weeks.”
“Yes, Mortz, I will.”
“Mom, did you write it yet?”
“No Mortz but don’t worry, I really am going to do it. Really.”

If there’s one thing I know about Mortz it’s that he’s independent. He’s one of those kids who hates to ask for things. He likes to work hard and figure things out on his own and he doesn’t like to feel indebted. I know this about him, so why would I make him ask me so many times?

Here I am, one week before my son’s race, sitting down to write and

When The Pain Never Ends

[ 2 videos]

long journey

Hi Everyone,
I hope you had a great week. Last week I forgot to post
Sometimes in life you get hit with one thing after another. You are waiting for a job, your soulmate, a child to come home, your health to improve, a relationship to heal and it feels like you can’t wait one more day. Your heart is bursting with pain. This video is for those times. What do you do in those moments when you feel like you can’t hold on?
And often it’s more than one thing. When things are tough it’s a barrage of troubles all at once. My friend calls it a Rumble Strip. You know how when you drive on the highway and you start to space out your care suddenly starts shaking as it drives over the rumble strips on the side of the road there to let sleepy drivers know they are getting off course.
When troubles mount, don’t despair. Your life is not falling apart. Your life is beginning a new chapter. The shaky, bumpy rumble strip will bring you back to your journey only this time with more clarity and wisdom for the trip ahead.
Enjoy this video, made with my full heart and soul and know that you are not alone. ( Click Read More to see videos)

How to Get Rid Of Being Defensive

Parshar Tetzaveh

defensive woman

You know how you finally get things done when you have deadline? Me too!

Thanks to The Torah Anytime class I now have a bit of a blogging schedule! Woo Hoo!

The beginning of the week is still up in the air but Thursday  you should be getting a Parsha class from me ( which right now is focused on marriage) in your inbox – every week!

Also , thanks to the crazy amount of feedback from lats week totally unprepared video I’m going to try to join you in my Shabbos Prep as much as possible – so when all goes smoothly you should be getting a Shabbos video on Friday afternoon – it will be a fun unofficial one.

You can check it out tomorrow.

In the meantime, enjoy this video How to NOT be defensive ( tried and tested tools, let me tell ya!). If you can’t see it through YouTube, just click on the TorahAnytime link here. 

( Feel free to subscribe there and they’ll sent you an email each time I upload a class)

See you tomorrow!

Love, Rivka Malka

How To Dive Deep Into Your Life Mission Without Ruining Your Marriage

My first ever webinar is happening this Wednesday!

Bezalel and Rivka Malka Perlman


How to Dive Deep Into Your Life Mission Without Ruining Your Marriage supposes that you can do just that.  That you can actually ruin your marriage while trying to live your best self. There you are feeling energized, doing important work and while you are busy saving the world or “getting in touch with yourself” and your marriage is coming apart.

I’m about to share something really awkward with you. Sometimes when people meet me and my husband they just don’t get it.  They see me doing my ( my million and one) thing(s) leading groups and seminars.  Then they see him – calm, not spotlight seeking and a one on one sort of guy. And they jump to conclusions

What they expect when they hang out with us is that I run the show. They assume that I’m the it and he’s the sidekick. That my work takes precedence. Then they hang out with us and they see that nothing could be further from the truth. We’re partners and friends and we support each other – and though we’re different we LOVE our differences. One of our main goals in marriage is to build each other up.
So why do I bring this up? Because, after feeling really bad (Omg, you think I have a bad marriage?!!) I realized that people only assume this because that’s how it usually is.  More often than not, when one spouse grows, the marriage shrinks. It’s like the flip side of enlightenment is self righteousness. Or, to be kinder, things have changed and you just don’t know what to do with it.
I started to point fingers until I remembered that that was almost me! ( I’ll tell you all about it on Wednesday’s webinar.) I made so many mistakes and I learned so much. As a person who is constantly seeking to grow I have had thousands of opportunities to take the wrong route in my marriage. And sometimes I did – Oy vey!
 It’s so subtle. Because what you’re doing is actually amazing, so what could be wrong?
I’ve seen so many women  confused as they try to make sense of their growth and its impact on their relationship. I spoke to Shlomo Slatkin of The Marriage Restoration Project. and he knew exactly what I meant.  In his work counseling couples he’s seen this scenario time and time again. women are struggling – And we decided to do a webinar together.

Bezalel and Rivka Malka Perlman

How to Help Your Teen Who is Going Through Depression and Anxiety

Minky's first hand account


Depression affects everyone. When you are a parent of a child with depression you are actually also a case manager for a house full of people who are struggling. This is not your fault. This is not your child’s fault.

In this video Minky shares honestly telling parents – from her front row seat in the drama of depression, what kids need. We were prompted to make this video by the rising number of young teens who are struggling. At age 12, 13, 14 they are feeling lost and confused.

And their parents are often just as confused.

Compounding the confusion is the secrecy and shame and almost always, conflict with religion. When you feel like you don’t fit on the inside you stop trying to fit in on the outside. Sometimes it seems like there is no place left for these girls.

But navigating depression is like swimming through dirty water with clouded goggles. Nothing is clear. There is no path. It’s just you and the elements. You and your child. The two of you and G-d.

I offer here my own contribution to Minky’s stunning words.To see the video..

How I Almost Smashed Myself with My Fear

All about how your thoughts control your destiny.


“When you freak out – you smash the vessels.” This video is about how fear can change the direction of our destiny and totally mess up the very thing we’re trying to create. PLUS – the story of how I met and interviewed Carol Tuttle from Dressing your Truth!…

What about single women? Do they Matter?

Heck, yes!!! Read the exchange below to hear more.

single ladies

click hereComing up next week on Jan 4 is the Art of Womanhood Workshop. The workshop

has had a great response. But one woman was NOT so happy. This is a message that I received on Friday … and this is the answer:

Hi RM! Sorry to bother you erev yontif, but after watching your YouTube video about the women’s conference I found myself grumbling internally. I have an issue which I have brought up to Rabbis and teachers alike, many times over. 
There are countless places out there that strive to help Jewish wives and mothers be the very best Jewish wives and mothers they can be, but there is so very little out there for those of us already struggling with singlehood. No one teaches us in HS or seminary how to be a great Jewish woman sans husband or children.
We are all taught that the role of a Jewish woman is defined by the home that she builds… and I believe in that paradigm one hundred percent. But what happens when G-d doesn’t bless us with the gifts we dream of? What and who are we supposed to be?? I am not bitter and angry, but I am admittedly frustrated….