How to Dive Deep Into Your Life Mission Without Ruining Your Marriage supposes that you can do just that. That you can actually ruin your marriage while trying to live your best self. There you are feeling energized, doing important work and while you are busy saving the world or “getting in touch with yourself” and your marriage is coming apart.
I’m about to share something really awkward with you. Sometimes when people meet me and my husband they just don’t get it. They see me doing my ( my million and one) thing(s) leading groups and seminars. Then they see him – calm, not spotlight seeking and a one on one sort of guy. And they jump to conclusions
What they expect when they hang out with us is that I run the show. They assume that I’m the it and he’s the sidekick. That my work takes precedence. Then they hang out with us and they see that nothing could be further from the truth. We’re partners and friends and we support each other – and though we’re different we LOVE our differences. One of our main goals in marriage is to build each other up.
So why do I bring this up? Because, after feeling really bad (Omg, you think I have a bad marriage?!!) I realized that people only assume this because that’s how it usually is. More often than not, when one spouse grows, the marriage shrinks. It’s like the flip side of enlightenment is self righteousness. Or, to be kinder, things have changed and you just don’t know what to do with it.
I started to point fingers until I remembered that that was almost me!
( I’ll tell you all about it on Wednesday’s webinar
.) I made so many mistakes and I learned so much. As a person who is constantly seeking to grow I have had thousands of opportunities to take the wrong route in my marriage. And sometimes I did – Oy vey!
It’s so subtle. Because what you’re doing is actually amazing, so what could be wrong?
I’ve seen so many women confused as they try to make sense of their growth and its impact on their relationship. I spoke to Shlomo Slatkin of The Marriage Restoration Project.
and he knew exactly
what I meant. In his work counseling couples he’s seen this scenario time and time again. women are struggling – And we decided to do a webinar
Depression affects everyone. When you are a parent of a child with depression you are actually also a case manager for a house full of people who are struggling. This is not your fault. This is not your child’s fault.
In this video Minky shares honestly telling parents – from her front row seat in the drama of depression, what kids need. We were prompted to make this video by the rising number of young teens who are struggling. At age 12, 13, 14 they are feeling lost and confused.
And their parents are often just as confused.
Compounding the confusion is the secrecy and shame and almost always, conflict with religion. When you feel like you don’t fit on the inside you stop trying to fit in on the outside. Sometimes it seems like there is no place left for these girls.
But navigating depression is like swimming through dirty water with clouded goggles. Nothing is clear. There is no path. It’s just you and the elements. You and your child. The two of you and G-d.
I offer here my own contribution to Minky’s stunning words.To see the video..
“When you freak out – you smash the vessels.” This video is about how fear can change the direction of our destiny and totally mess up the very thing we’re trying to create. PLUS – the story of how I met and interviewed Carol Tuttle from Dressing your Truth!
Coming up next week on Jan 4 is the Art of Womanhood Workshop. The workshop
has had a great response. But one woman was NOT so happy. This is a message that I received on Friday … and this is the answer:
Hi RM! Sorry to bother you erev yontif, but after watching your YouTube video about the women’s conference I found myself grumbling internally. I have an issue which I have brought up to Rabbis and teachers alike, many times over.
There are countless places out there that strive to help Jewish wives and mothers be the very best Jewish wives and mothers they can be, but there is so very little out there for those of us already struggling with singlehood. No one teaches us in HS or seminary how to be a great Jewish woman sans husband or children.
We are all taught that the role of a Jewish woman is defined by the home that she builds… and I believe in that paradigm one hundred percent. But what happens when G-d doesn’t bless us with the gifts we dream of? What and who are we supposed to be?? I am not bitter and angry, but I am admittedly frustrated….
JOIN THE ART OF WOMANHOOD TODAY!
Have you ever asked yourself “Where did my zing go? “Why am I so tired – dragging through the day and my responsibilities?”
You know what I mean – it’s when you joke about how old you are even though you’re not remotely old. And you say these jokes to make it okay that you feel so disconnected from your younger self.
When was the last time you felt simply beautiful and worthy without the voice of the inner critic interfering?
“Welcome to Rivka Malka’s Dream, said Esther, as we sat by the bonfire on the first night of the Retreat. Over the next few days I repeated that line many, many times:
When I saw women with sketch books and watercolors sitting in clusters painting and talking; when I saw women coaching one another, healing, growing; when I saw women dancing, shaking off the stress and letting go completely – I knew I was seeing my dream.
When I planned this retreat I had visions. Visions of women in circles, visions of a Paint, Wine and Dance Party, visions of sharing my story and hearing stories and rewriting the script for a stronger, lighter future. And with the help of the Almighty these visions came true.
Day 1 – We set up in anticipation for the women’s arrival. Carefully we laid out the notebooks and paint like the first day of kindergarten where everything is brand new and brimming with possibilities. The table was a sea of Crayola yellow.
In the other corner I set up my jewelry line. Amidst artistic vases and bronze candles I debuted the colorful treasures I’ve been holding on to. This would be the first time women would see them – Would they like them? By the end of the first day every piece but two were gone. ( I will try to have more in by Chanuka.) It was just so seamless and wonderful.
If you’ve read my old blog posts and or you’ve seen my How to Dress Modest Bohemian video you know that Dressing Your Truth changed my life. In this video I tell you the WHOLE story.
It transformed me.
You know,everyone wants to look good. What if there was a way that you could know exactly what to buy, exactly what would look good on you, exactly which colors and fabrics would make your face glow and exactly how to find them?
That’ awesome, right?
When I was doing headwrapping work and traveling all around the US, I would watch faces light up as I dressed women in the colors most suited to their type. Sometimes the crowd would literally gasp in pleasure as I would choose the perfect scarf for each particular woman.
And I would always tell them “Ladies, go look up Dressing Your Truth. This is just the tip of the iceberg. You know how I know the perfect scarf for you? Because I learned this fabulous information from Carol Tuttle.”
I would write Dressing Your Truth and Carol Tuttle on countless slips of paper. The pleasure that women got as being recognized for their own Beauty Type was priceless and I wanted them to have more of it.
If you don’t know your Beauty Type yet, today is your lucky day – Carol is offering her Online Beauty Profiling course for FREE for my readers. You’re going to have so much fun when you find out your Beauty Type. It’s liberating – awesomikating ( new word) and this cool, inside out journey of self discovery that gives you a whole new set of tools.
Just one thing before you click on the video link – I want to hear EVERYTHING! What Type of Beauty are you? Did it surprise you? How do you feel? This is so much fun! Just click below and you’ll find out!