Video

Why Didn’t I Take a More Critical Approach?

 

Did you get what I meant in this video about not taking a hard line? Everyone loves a guy with a big opinion. We read hot headed blogs like there’s no tomorrow. And we love that someone has the guts to say what we’ve been thinking all along.

But when it comes to spirituality, it’s different. The topics we talk about here are much more subtle and have deep ramifications. I can’t spew and criticize.   I mean, like my friend Rachel says. “who knows who’s closer and who’s further? We can’t judge from appearances.

And if this goes for the guy who is not wearing a yarmulka but truly is very spiritual, it most certainly goes for the religious guy who you think looks repressed. Maybe he’s not. Maybe its an expression that he likes.

But alas, nothing is perfect. Joe Good Guy, can he really be as spiritual as he could potentially be if he doesn’t observe the Torah’s mitzvos?

And the religious guy, can he really be as true to himself as he needs to be if he’s comfortable with that much conformity?

But I’ve found, that consistently we are most critical of religious people. If they act out in any way, we feel ripped off, up in arms; “You faker!”

It’s a big responsibility wearing one of these things on your head. People have expectations, as they should! But folks, lets give other folks a break. We’re all only human. We make mistakes, we struggle with the same things that everyone else does.

The only difference is that we’re willing to make the committment and say. “I may not be perfect but I’m going to set out to take the high road. ”

The problem is, that when we don’t live with Hashem, we live with fear. To live with Hashem means to trust  in the greatness of every human being.  When we live with fear, instead of belief, we end up making rules, upon rules, upon rules, creating a sub culture that has nothing to do with truth.

 

 

 

 

 

10 Comments

  1. Cassie says:

    Perfect. I love that you aren’t as critical as you could be. It makes you approachable and that’s huge. Yours is the only blog I routinely comment on because of it. I have learned a ton from you! I understand what the other person was saying but I think it’s a fine line to tread. It’s easy to sink into the mindset and suddenly think your opinion is The Opinion. At least for me. Ha!

    LOVE the tichel today.

    • RivkaMalka says:

      Cassie, thank you! I wasn’t sure if I was clear. Because you’re right, it is a fine line. I don’t want to deliver fluff , but I also don’t want to get stuck in the neagtivity.
      What you wrote about “your opinion” is very wise. Our opinion make sus feel so smart – we have it all figured out. But for sure, we don’t. We’ve only got our pair of glasses on, not the perspective of the thousand who we’re quick to make statements about. Thanks fo your comments, Cassie, they’re always so insightful.

      • Lisa Eggers says:

        Great thoughts, Cassie! Thanks for sharing! And thank you Rivka, you make ALL of us feel welcome here on you site and I always feel energized by your enthusiastic attitude and positivity!

  2. Andrea says:

    Oh wow.
    “The problem is, that when we don’t live with Hashem, we live with fear. To live with Hashem means to trust in the greatness of every human being. When we live with fear, instead of belief, we end up making rules, upon rules, upon rules, creating a sub culture that has nothing to do with truth.”
    This is so amazingly put… will be sharing!!!

  3. Jolene says:

    I keep coming back and saying it, I know, but *these* posts are why I return to your page, again and again. We *can* accomplish more through love than through criticism; we all have so many differences, it’s more important (likely more useful, too) to find common-ground and celebrate and build on that, and how compassion toward one another, than to hone in on “failings” with criticisms. Thank you, again.

  4. Sara says:

    I was taught (and G-d willing will be able to teach my kids) not to look at others, try to hold myself to the highest standard and cut everyone else tons and tons and tons of slack.

  5. Jaimie says:

    Thank you for providing the dose of spirituality that I needed tonight!

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