By Rivka Perlman

January 30, 2012

A Peek in My Head

 

 

I was at a relatives house and they were making my crazy! Everything I saw made me wince, and I found myself having conversations in my head with them about what they needed to do differently.

Externally,my relationship with them was nice enough, but strained. I just couldn’t relax. I felt like they were impossible to talk to.

Late at night, when everyone was asleep, it suddenly occured to me that¬†¬†I was the one creating the dynamic. My judgment of them was getting in the way of ¬†the flow between us. I suddenly heard my thoughts as if on speakerphone. And it wasn’t pretty. It was a ¬†constant stream of critique.

I thought about what my critism was doing to us. I wrote this poem then and there, and I vowed to change.

That was awhile ago.

Did I?

I’m trying……!!

A Poem

Fix your clothes

change your tone

treat her right

clean your home!

 

I mastermind

(as if you’re blind)

how, with a tweak, a push , a pull

your world would be

that much more full.

And not just yours,

there’s his and hers

novice teachers, age old leaders…

 

I offer up my hidden shame

where in my head, voices blame

and judge – as if I”m in a cube of glass

presiding over faces pass

filing by for my inspection

all they need to reach perfection

 

Let this serve as my confession

 

I offer up my haughty nose

my unkind gaze,’my knowing pose

I hereby choose

a  lowered chin,

and lowered eyes to look within

To shine with love

on all I see

and save, the harsh bright light,

the one that leaves no stone unturned

for me

 

 

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