By Rivka Perlman

April 23, 2015

What Happened to the Clothing Store?
So here’s where I condense 4 months of life, a major identity shift, a career change and a new found freedom all in one. In going through this process of uncovering whats true for me, I’ve learned something profound. There is no rescuing, there is no being someone you’re not. There’s only acting like someone you’re not. The essential you remains the same. You can’t get away from it. This means that by being inauthentic you are automatically in a lose – lose. You are not happy and you can’t serve the world well either – because acting and living are polar opposites.
Throughout this time I’ve been thinking a lot about co- dependence and rescuing people. What is my models for relationship? For four months I thought that my husband needed me to do this business and for four months he thought he was being patient while I figured out if I wanted to do this business. How crazy is that?
Why did I think I needed to push myself beyond my natural space. Oh, all the people I would disappoint – the investors, the customers, my husband… I was owning all of that without owning my own piece of it.

You can’t own anyone else’s feelings. You can only look inside and ask G-d what the right thing to do is and then let the chips fall where they may. When you try to control everyone’s reactions you no longer have the clarity in the situation. Instead of honoring yourself for your process and others for theirs, you are denying your process and denying the other person the respect that they can manage their life and their process.

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