I saw this gem on the bulletin board at a therapists office. I hope it helps you as much as it helped me.
When I feel responsible FOR others…
I fix
protect
rescue
control 
carry their feelings
don’t listen
I feel…tired
anxious
fearful
liable
I am concerned with
the solutions
answers
circumstances
being right
details
performance
I am a manipulator.
I expect the person to live up to my expectations.
——————-
When I feel responsible TO others
I show empathy
encourage
share
confront
level 
am sensitive
listen
I feel…relaxed
free
aware
high self esteem
I am concerned with:
relating person to person
feelings
the person
I believe that if I just share myself ,
the other person has enough to make it.
I am a helper -guide.
I expect the person to be responsible for himself and his own actions.
I can trust and let go
———————————–
