Dear Diary, Dearest Blog Friends, Universe and Me,
It’s been a long time (again!) since I’ve written and we have SO much to catch up on! I’m posting pictures here of the last few months!
This past summer, you remember, was the summer of humbling heartache. My kids were struggling, my husband’s job ended and I was generally just treading water.
BUT, do you remember just a bit before then, that I went to Israel? I went as a leader on The Akiva Trip with 40 young adults. I don’t know if I told you but on that trip I prayed like never before. The tears came easily and I was at that beautiful place we call Surrender. I’m powerless, I need help.
Guess what, and I’m not joking here, my prayers were answered! I look back to that time and wow, we’re in a completely different life space.
When I got home from Israel things got a lot worse before they got better. (If you don’t remember, click here)
But better they got. My child with depression had their meds changed and is now accessing a host of new opportunities that we never would have pursued before.Thank G-d!
I’ve come to see that life is not about a destination. It’s about the journey. And on this journey we’re in a better place. It’s not all “cured” but cured is not the
point. The point is movement, growth and love. I remind myself of this every day.
My child who had issues with faith is in a (Jewish) school where they give massive amounts of love along with massive amounts of space. They really see the whole child
It’s actually really interesting . They ask very little of the guys, but they offer a great program. The premise is that after a while , it becomes less fun spacing out on your Ipod then joining a class and feeling good about yourself. That combined with positive peer pressure ( older guys who are enjoying) makes it an environment ripe for success. By the time the kids graduate, they are stars – exuding confidence, skills and an authentic exuberance for their faith.
They also encourage the kids to use their individual gifts. So my son is taking Parkour (sponsered by the school) which is his passion.
My youngest daughter was diagnosed with pretty severe dyslexia – this is one of our latest challenges. School is so hard for her that she often comes home angry and tremendously frustrated. This, from a child who is hands down, the most brilliant, spiritual, intuitive, expressive child I’ve ever met.
The school we would want to send her to is upwards of $30,000 so that’s not really an option. In the meantime we are discovering – did I say we? G-d is literally throwing great information right into our laps – many other resources to help her.
My husband has started life coaching again which he trained for a while back. He’s an extraordinary coach. I can’t get over how good he is at what he does! The idea behind Life Coaching is that a person has all their answers already inside of them. The coach asks powerful questions (my favorite – “What are you tolerating?” Omg, that could be a whole post in itself!) and helps a person clarify and move forward in their goals, and in their life.
I really want to write more about all this, but he’ll do a much better job – in an upcoming post.
My oldest daughter is in Israel for her post high school year. She is blossoming there and is so happy! I can’t wait to see her when I go. I also really miss her. She’s one of those people that is a total pleasure to have around. You feel gifted by her presence. (And women my age tell me they want to be her friend!)
I got off healthy eating for a while and now I’m finally back on. I LOVED the juicing and it was in my routine for a long time. It was a life changer. About a month and a half ago we lost a critical piece of the juicer and my eating went downhill.
It really affected me. I’m physically drained when I don’t eat well and emotionally I feel out of control, and a nagging sense of self loathing appears. It took me a long time to recognize it (even though I kind of know it by now) and when I cleaned up my eating, wow, I feel so much better!
So, sugar out – vegi’s in! I actually think that ties in to why I wasn’t writing much.I just can’t tune in to my inner voice when I’m crazy with the sugar.
The biggest news is that Andrea Grinberg of Wrapunzel has moved around the corner from me! This is 100% a G-d thing! We met online, as you may remember, about a year ago. We both had blogs and we both had tichel tutorials. I’ll tell you so much more about all that in a special behind the scenes Wrapunzel post. In the meantime, we’re partners!
Our store is set to open in January and we are handpicking the most gorgeous scarves for you! I think my tichel tying has gotten more creative since she’s moved here. Definitely more intentional. And I made a wonderful friend!
During these past few months I was also on a talk show, the radio and a national conference call and in the newspaper twice. I didn’t plan any of that. But I was grateful, b/c during all these challenges I was in a place of needing a lot of reassurance. I felt like all these chances to share my thoughts and spread Torah were a sign of approval from G-d, “Go ahead, I like what you’re doing.”
And getting that approval even while knowing that I have so much to work on, was affirming. It reminded me once again, that G-d doesn’t need us to be perfect. He thinks we’re adorable with all our quirky weaknesses. He just wants us to hang in there and keep giving it our best shot. And sometimes we can be doing great in one area and really lousy in another. That’s ok, its normal. We have a tendency to not give ourselves credit for the areas that we are achieving.
I have so much to share with you. If you’ve read this far though, at least we’re on the same page. Thank you for sharing with me!
Every day is a blessing. Every day is a blessing. Every day is a blessing. Every day is a blessing!
Love, Rivka Malka